Happy April Fool’s Day! I love when April hits because that means spring is in full force and manifestion is in full swing. I am really excited and nervous all at the same time. I am excited because I am seeing real “fruit” from my transformative lifestyle. I am rolling down the tracks full steam ahead feeling happy and healthy.
This exciting shift shoots straight out from my Solar Plexus (Personal Will and Power) and is colliding with my Heart Chakra (Love, Compassion and Humanitarian Hopes) and makes me all giddy inside because everything I have worked so hard for is starting to blossom! Basically, my personal healing is happening so fast now and I feel amazing! But there is a but…….a big butt……………Uh oh.
The reason my healing is so intense is because I was willing (painfully willing) to address these marvelous spiritual experiences which were not always so pleasant. I had to willingly look in the mirror, a REAL Mirror, and make myself “decide” to heal from the inside out and the process was initially grueling.
I had to address so many unpleasant things about my self that it was embarrassing at best. I have had engaged in such nasty and deep shadow work over the last 3 or 4 years that it required me to figuratively “die” to what I thought I wanted in order to experience rebirth. It was the only way to manifest the life that I know I really want.
In order to have what I have come to believe are my “predestined” opportunities while being human, I really had to challenge my old belief systems, my core upbringing as an average “kid” and even question my role and gender as a “typical” woman. (Not a Witch. cough, cough…….. A Woman!) Smile….. 🙂
Now, when I say “predestined,” may I just add that I believe most people want to find a sense of purpose. I have talked with so many people who are trying to find a formidable destiny to “do” or “be” something before their time on this Earth expires and I want you all to know that us “seekers” have a choice to change the course of action when unsatisfied. You have a choice. You Always Have A Choice.
But…….and here is the butt I spoke of……………“If you are not willing to accept the truth of painful and life changing actions that manifest YOUR truth, then you will NEVER live in your purest form. When you eliminate all opportunities to be totally healed from whatever holds you back you will not experience euphoria during this incarnation.”
Translation, this is why people take drugs (legal or otherwise), drink too much and hide behind layers of masks when they waltz their butt out the door every day and pretend everything is fine! It is true and you and I both know it.
So, as many of you know……(like a million of you)……I have talked about writing a book for a very long time. But my fear (yes fear) has been that the book will be too intense for most of you. At least those that I love and cherish as family. And those it is not my intention to ever hurt or destroy anyone, it is by my Divine calling that I share the steps along my journey which required me to heal. AGAIN, I say………………..this raw exposer of truth is meant to heal!!!
For instance, how the hell do you think I survived the morbidly painful experience of being a 19 year old single/divorced mom who woke up one day and found herself in a……………..here goes………….two year adulterous affair.
Yep. I did that. And three husbands later, there were a lot of messes to clean up by those who had to pay for the mistakes I made for an inexcusable relationship. There was no such thing as an “open relationship” in Kentucky in the early 90’s. California maybe. Not in Kentucky. It took me almost, 25 years to realize that my insecurities and my choices vibrated well into my mid-life and now……oh yes………….NOW I can say, “Wow! That was intense!” Then stamp a big “HEALED STICKER” on my Sacral Chakra. The Chakra that governs how you are affected in your relationships, your emotions and your passions, your playtime and how you exchange energy with others. Clog this chakra and your life will be a piss hole until you heal it. It can manifest as secret jealousy, self loathing, and will harbor the MOST destructive of emotions you could EVER imagine……I am sorry. You can pray to Jesus all you want to save you but until you acknowledge the darkest place in the directory book, it ain’t gonna happen.
People, hear me. This blog is not a joke and for three years I have been a sublime example of a woman fighting (yes, I internally fight) to gain her power back not to have power so I can over others. But to Overcome The Resistance. It is my signature scripture. Revelations 12:11. They Overcame By The Blood of The Lamb and The WORD OF THEIR TESTIMONY! You want to see how I inspire? Look at my left calf. It is tattooed right on my body. Like some kind of Pagan Christian. Or maybe I should say Christian Pagan. Oh wait……Pagteg-costal? Buddah-costal? Bapti-costal? Babti-cothlic? Wicca-baptle? Jesus Freak?
How about just being a Human?
In closing, I am going to really, really start on my book now. It will provide solvency for my life and take me straight on into my final hours. And yes…..yes….I know. Jesus paid all. But I have a willing hand in this all this karma too you know?……….:P
Not everyone is going to be happy with me and for that I am truly sorry. But I VOW TO USE THE WISDOM of Solomon, where the sting may arise.
I am smart enough to avoid slanderous remarks about others and my experiences with them.
This book is NOT about tearing others down so that I look good. (Yoga helps me do that!)
It is about building a future so that others can heal too and stop making excuses.
There will be a little sci-fi in it for the purpose of marketing. Why they hell do you think I changed my identity to Eleanor. (However, Stephen King was originally born, Stephen King so WTF?)
People have no idea how badly they hurt you by what they do and unless you really forgive them and yourself, you are not going to experience your best life ever….(thanks for that sentence Joel Olsteen). There are emotional scars that can only be healed by entering the burning core of darkness aka…your dirty closet.
This type of raw footage is not for everyone but if you really want total healing and to find your true destiny you don’t have a choice. I promise however, when you do, you will be so HAPPY to have finally reached the other side!