Everything changes. It is imperative to stay in hopes that when things “do” change, and they will, that you have fastened your universal body belt, (the silver tether) and you are engaged, for lift off. It is New Year’s Day. It is 2018. I have lifted off.
2017 stretched me further than I wanted to go. I was willing to transform into a more conscientious person, a mindful guru of sorts. I was willing to put my heart on my sleeve and respect the boundaries of Earth, Water, Sky and Person. I promised myself I would learn lessons on boundaries and “body respect” and though I feel I fell short this year on quite a few things, I almost killed myself with stress by not respecting my body. My health went from vibrant to villainous this winter. Somehow, an auto-immunity kicked into hyper-speed during October and I went south fast. It opened my eyes widely and with a heart rate of 38 on December 28th, I decided I better look deeper into why I am sitting in the Emergency Room two days before New Year’s Eve.
It all started back in MT school. We were busy, rushing though life to make it, and I began to eat LOTS of Tree Nuts. It was my staple. I had been fast approaching a 125 pound weight loss and age 43. “Better kick it into hyper-drive” if I wanted to stay looking young and vibrant since I, had serous body image issues. It started at age 5. Regardless, I was determined to make my mark in history showing young women, (with body image issues as well as emotional grain) that it was OK to fight for yourself. So, I fought. And my journey is meant to help others with this issue. It is just one of my many callings.
I fought to not gain weight, by eating lots of fruits, veggies, drink water, and detox my body. But I ate way too many nuts during this season and beyond. My Liver, (anger) was always firing off and although at times, the bourbon was a nice touch after dinner, but my mind kept falling off course and the morning routine was began to become painful. I decided to give up all alcohol in November. Best thing I ever did!
Bourbon dehydrates you, and can cause severe diarrhea even in moderate quantities. I looked around, and social drinking was just normal, so I did it too. But my Liver reminded me it was aging me fast and me, as a Scorpio with healing talents, we shouldn’t drink anyway. Our bodies are massively sensitive to energy.
This is indeed the reason I am so good at my work. Intuitively, I am naturally intrigued with the body. Especially mine. And for some reasons, I just know how to help my clients. I was trained very well and I think because I am so in tune with my body now, it makes for a GREAT Massage Therapist. You are able to connect with the client and assist them in their awareness. That is why I was so aware which what was happening to me it just took me a minute. 😛
And so, the tree nut binge began a series of rashes. Bad rashes. Like months of painful inflammation and I sought medical attention to the tune of $2,000 the summer of 2016. Rashes would develop on my eyes, my cheeks, my neck and my arms. It was not until this past November that I identified the allergy to nuts. I went into a terrible 4 day bed watch and mild anaphylactic shock. My lymphatic system clogged and by December 1st my body had decided to shut down the immune system. That my friends is what happened this week.
You see, it was not just the nut allergies, it was the adrenaline poising. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Lupus, RA and dozens of other AI conditions are typically a result of auto fatigue. Meaning, you just don’t stop. My family, my friends, my business colleagues all kept telling me to slow down. But how do you tell, a hard working mother and wife to slow down when so much tragedy was befalling the home? If you were faced with keeping the doors of your new practice open, putting food on the table, paying the billings, marketing your brand and studying one of the most important pieces of the future of our healthcare system, and then deal with the tragic financial stress losing one income in the home due to a disability, you probably would have gone into AF (adrenaline fatigue) as well.
Somewhere between realizing you had made a $20K investment in your practice and you had to move your teen-age son 5 times in 4 years, (debilitating his chances to steady his grades and have a great high school experience), you may have even felt a little guilty as well. Zachary rolled through these punches like the hard core Cancerian he is and always showed me he supported the Home even when he was unhappy. That boy fits the mold of his Astrological sign like no one’s business.
I could go on and on about why I got sick, but last week, it almost killed me. So, I made more changes. I am making changes as we speak and why not, it is 2018. I am wiping the slate clean like the rest of us, and not making silly resolutions like “I will floss my teeth five times a day.” My resolutions are deep and emotional. My resolutions are to be more honest and genuine to myself so that as I am in that space with others, people will continue to see my bright shiny light, not my sagging cheeks and weakened collar bones. The body is only so unforgiving for so long.
It is my Hope that 2018 will no longer crush me under the weight and stress of my current circumstance. It is my hope that as I surround myself with people of love and light and truth, that my current physical condition will improve. It is my Hope I can spread my energy in all the right places:)
And today, you may wonder, why would I teach an “aerobics class on New Year’s Day” if I am so sick. That is not slowing down. You are right. But you see, I need to RAISE my heart rate. 38 is pretty Damn low. 45 is normal for me at a resting state. I guess I am just that Zen and I need cardio on a regular. And apparently, I have excited a few other women to join me in this crazy fun dance adventure so we are going to laugh and a have fun That is healing. Dance is healing. Music is healing, Movement is Healing. Knowing the flow of Yoga, Dance, and Fitness is Reikirobics. This my friend, will be my new jam for 2018. I will take it easy. But I will drop it low and have some fun with anyone who wills and Dance my way back from the Grave on occasion.
For those of you that know me, you know my Heart. You know the challenges I have had to face have been devastating to many of us. I have had to move clients around from appointments, and explain to those that love me, why I have been sick the last few months. Well, I just gave you the answers.
It is my sincere HOPE that 2018 brings me much advancement and nourishment. It is my sincere HOPE that 2018 brings my diversity in my business and my eternal contacts. It is my sincere HOPE that 2018 allows me much time in community educating people on what I know to be My Truth so they can find theirs. It is my sincere HOPE that you understand the process of being truly well is not without some pain. It just is.
If you do not listen to your body, it will tell you anyway so let’s start the year off right shall we and make it Real. Trust in the process of HOPE. I am offering 2018 Health and Wellness consultations. They are $75 per session and they will open your eyes or your money back! I believe so much in what I am now building that I would really give you your money back if a Health and Wellness Session did not serve you in the highest.
For me today, it is quite frankly what I am standing on for tomorrow and the tomorrow’s that are not always promised, but are sure to come. I want to wish you a very Happy New Year and thank all of those who have loved me through a very painful process. It will pay forward to others. This I Believe.