Greetings Reader. It’s Me. Holly Elaine King. And I am about to show you what it’s like to live a life of grace and ease in a vortex of uncomfortable flesh and I am about to come forth on some serious personal topics.
In doing so, on this 2020 Full Leo Moon, may the Universe offer me center stage while I contemplate and write about my own prophetic gifts and may “God” give me the words to be authentically REAL while I promote my Spiritual Journey as I live in the painful experiences of my current state of affairs.
You see, most of the time when I “blog” in the first person, it makes people uncomfortable.
I own several content driven blogs and a host of Social Media folios and sur-names starting with my writer’s name, Eleanor Elaine Phoenix where I write fiction and channel dark poetry so I can process the pain of my real life experiences. Her name came from a vision I had back in Jeffersontown, Kentucky around 2012 as I sat at a tombstone in the central graveyard praying with the dead that spoke to me.
You see on that night, my ex-husband who was a card carrying, business professional medium who channeled for the dead, had blown up my phone on a day when I was closing the “salon” and was frantically telling me that some dead woman named “May” was bothering him.
May, was a female spirit that had come to him in a vision while I was at work and he said she was a historical figure in the history of the city and she wanted to talk to me. May led me to Edgar Allen Poe which lead me to Lenore which invited me to create a nom de’plum, named Eleanor Elaine Phoenix while I sat at the gravesite of her 1800 cemetary plot and realized I was going to become a writer of sorts one day. That day is now.
According to the vision I would use the pen name Eleanor Elaine Phoenix to write about subject matters that make folks uncomfortable. Death. Medicine. Healing. Magic. Arts. Truth about social lies and religious arguments and deep dark history about our culture.
Elaine, my matriarchal family name goes back back five generations. It goes back five generations to five generations of mentally and emotionally (and physically) abused women. Just ask my grandmother about why her daddy liked to burn her with cigarettes when she was a toddler. Do you think that comes up in my cellular matrix? Science says it does.
Only my mother was skipped in the receiving of the middle name Elaine so lucky be to her for missing the curse of the meaning of the name. Elaine means one who dies with unrequited love of Lancelot in the Arthurian legend. It also is a sister name to the name Helen. (My aunt who was born on the same day as I yet, 60 years before me exactly.)
My great-grandmother, Helen’s sister, hated her real name Einee (if I spelled it correctly) so she changed her name to Elaine and named my grandmother Joyce Elaine and my mom named me Holly Elaine so I named Emily the same middle name and so on. So I used this middle name to help heal my line of mothers and grandmothers in my writings. The Word of God speaks.
Phoenix, is my Scorpio Rising power and my ability to rise higher than the flames of life which hope to lick my toes as I ascend closer to the next life, which is my permanent Spiritual life. I am a Phoenix, rising from the ashes of a hard knocks life. I am rising and I will soar with wings of Eagles and I will run and no longer grow weary of my steps.
This female version of Edgar Allen Poe came to me in a vision and told me I would be a great writer someday but to be mindful of the content written when it pertained to shadow work. Jungian Shadow Work is a modality used by Carl Jung when it came to matters of the Mind and leans into the psychology of our conscious egos. (Leo is full of Ego but for a regal purpose.) So again, here I am. This kind of writing helps heal the soul of past damage from many generations before us. It does indeed carry over into our matrix.
Spiritual Coach, Eckhart Tolle refers to the mental health of a human being in distress “the Pain Body.” and we all have one and now, that I am very confident in my work as a Karuna® Reiki Master Teacher (on May 3rd it will be official provided I stand) and to me my friends, this level of attunement is super freaking important for my own healing as well as the healing of the planet now.
All this happened right about the start of my Reiki Path. At that point, I was freeing myself from unwanted religious pressures, and over time it was God, which really did open my eyes to “other energies” and their intentions and as a God Fearing, Jesus Loving Christian Woman who loves ALL religions as equal too, I am in a place of ministry when it comes to all people, not just one denomination. No one is right and the hatred I experienced as a child of God in the church no longer as a hold on me.
I have been told, I share too much. Do I? That was what the preacher said. But he would not let me speak unless my husband gave me permission. Sorry…..
I have been told I am a rock star and a strong and empowered woman. Am I? I don’t know yet. The jury is out and my words haven’t quiet hung me yet. Yet.
Maybe I am just a plain “Jane” of sorts thinking about all the things I have lost out on in life promoting pity and sorrow for my story verses placing forth the intention and energy toward all that I can hope to gain by being me, Holly Elaine King and writing about the emotional pain I have experienced in the last few years of my life, that someone out there will find their healing path too.
I find it is a terrible shame to stop women from using the cycles of the moon and our incredible gift of spiritual knowledge to stop us from evolving into the healers that many of us are. Of all things truthful to say, I am more than a conqueror but I will not hate on any mortal human being every again, including my ex-husband, a mad terrorist or even, a man who thinks women’s empowerment is witchcraft. Dude, you must be off your rocker here. We need these healing arts to set the World back into balance.
You see we decide.
We women decide what light we would like to show people when we are on stage and now I will offer you some key points to healing, health and wellness when it comes to one tragic story that really is not so tragic after all.
I am, a force of nature just like everyone else and my Lion and Lamb are now embedded in one human body.
If indeed there is a devil after my soul, then I pled the blood. If indeed the prophecies of Pentecost are indeed true, we are here at the crossroads of artificial intelligence and autoimmune disorders which plague women by the thousands.
Maybe my journey to self love and my massive weigh loss also fostered my highly sensitive traits as an empath and I am only here to help other empaths understand the power of selfless love. All my life, my mental health monsters used to cry “red alert” when I had to argue the point that we are all made up of energy and our genders did not matter but our heart do. How you treat someone at home and behind closed doors is all about integrity and truth. It is time we have more truth and Leo executes the confidence to be not afraid for the Lord is with thee. Jesus is MY Lion of Judah and I open my mouth to say, no one is perfect and no one is right but everyone is important. Even those that we cannot be with forever and ever on this plane. It is time to start forgiving myself and others for the pain body that has surfaced in my life the last few years.
They say that March comes in like a Lion and goes out like a Lamb. Well, let’s hope the next few weeks are indeed a time of action, change and mental/ emotional rest for mortal animated carcass. I need peace.
As I sit here at the coffee shop waiting my 2:30 Monthly Therapy session, I ponder about the future while I let go of the past and I marvel at the arrangement of how my life is going.
And while, Twenty years ago I was raising a small baby and listening to my daughter talk about Barbie’s best outfit while she wore pink and blue hippy beads around her neck and dressed her brother in a cheerleading costume.
Now she is off fighting a demonic addiction of which I can do nothing short of praying about and her brother is out there being his own Millennium Human Genome Musician Project and stands me up for breakfast quite often. I mean, he is only 20 so eventually he will see how important a mother’s love is even if he is different in his willingness to connect. The last three years of his home life were a living hell. I forgive myself.
You see, for the last 20 years of time, in my World, we have been fighting Spiritual Demons that were offered to us under the confines of a Pentecostal Church and a Baptist upbringing that said if I was not perfect that Hell would await my soul and that Satan was here to kill me and in fact, sometimes, I feel as if I should die. I forgive myself.
The pain of seeing your mortal children suffering is unexplainable and makes you wonder if you did something wrong. The church speaks so highly on generational curses. However, now I know better. It is not my fault what my adult children decide to do with their lives or curate in the compass of their adventure on Earth. I forgive myself.
This is why I go to therapy.
I know have the ability to sort out all my personal Sacral shit out with my “thaumaturgurgist,” I bounce back to reality like a tigger in search of a new friend. My life is getting better and brighter after a very dark age of tragic emotional events. I forgive myself.
WE ALL HAVE TRIGGERS. Just sayin’. And my autobiography is becoming quite the literary and I am unashamed to say so. The Lamb in my life is now present and all of the hard work and self sacrifice is starting to pay off in my mind.
Just because I am also a therapist, does not mean my home life is not challenging and that I do not have much to learn when it comes to creating boundaries with anyone really. Especially my DNA and sexual relationships (husbands mostly). I forgive myself.
But is is NOT to say I am still not hurting. I am. I am just channeling the vessel and the vices with prayer and mindfulness and I am unwinding myself from the traumatic conditioning of my past. Roles and titles included. (Wife, Mom, Daughter, Woman.)
2019 is a past I will soon not forget. But 2019 is the year I will always remember as painful self-actualized justice. And now, as the Moon completes her cycle with Leo the masculine Fire Sign, born to us proud and confident, I know if I keep sharing my truth and I keep practice the healing arts as directed, the peace that passes all understanding will be mine to keep for eons to come.
There is more that I want to say but for now, I will keep it here. The Lion and the Lamb are a part of my story and my history. I am thankful for Leo Moon to be so bright and so bold as to remind me that I am a daughter of a King.
I am Holly Elaine King and this is my drive thru life.