“Protecting Your Belief System Through Renounciation”

I am typing this quickly as a thought for forgive the typos……..

 

The conflict between spiritual siblings is subtle but extremely powerful.  I think it is because of the power resting wholeheartedly behind our egos.  No one wishes to be viewed as a pontiff but if we were to call that same person a “prophet or healer” it is considered acceptable and EGO finds a little comfort in being viewed as a martyr verse a dictator.  So, how then do we attain like-mindedness regarding community and healing when the strengthen behind our personal belief system is activated.  (The Lioness syndrome I will call it.)

First, I think we should flex the muscle of renunciation.  It is not that I meant renounce your “faith” but I am suggesting you renounce your EGO. (My EGO!)  The energy it takes to protect your belief system is daunting when you know that the core and structure of that foundation is the same, yet being compromised by semantics.  It is of my opinion that a World renowned belief system like Christianity start picking apart the intention behind the concept of compassionate love and healing, it becomes ridiculous.  It’s like two blood sisters fighting over which wood to use for the trim of their new castle.  Wood is Wood.  They don’t take into consideration that once the New castle has been erected some of the tiny details in the textile will fade into the background and all faces will be concerned with the beauty and the magisty of the new structure.  That new structure will serve purpose for centuries to come and set forth a legend surrounding the truth and spirit in which the house had been built.

My point?  I will no longer argue whether or not Christians should administer Reiki.  It is not how I should be defending the Heart behind what us healers are doing “outside of the typical mainstream walls.”  I have blocked myself from so much just because of my EGO to “defend” why I am doing this and I renounce that today.  It is written (through my blog) that I choose to say “good-bye” to my Ego and just allow the work to prove itself.  I am a Christian and I perform healing work.  For any other purpose of explanation, I am out.

Namaste.

Holly

Moon In Capricorn Says “Make ME Feel Useful.”

Oh, how wonderful a day!  I was able to really dig deep into my craft today. And that, makes me feel useful, and productive.  Now, before you say, “There she goes again, trying to be worthy and blogging about what she did today because Holly has no…… inhibitions.  She is always talking about what she is doing in the World, blah blah blah…….(raspberries blow.:P)” Well, I need you to realize that each and every day brings us new and amazing energy and I blog about it because I LOVE IT!! I love knowing that each and every minute of my day is lived in divine consciousness.  It is when we are willing to tap into it, that we are living our most genuine life.  The moon went into Capricorn today around 2:00 today and we are heading right into the most awesome time of year called “summer’s death!”  Yes, the season of fall is dying and we see the trees dying and the seeds we planted months ago, are going into a deep sleep.  I love spiritual dying and it is also know as something magical, called winter.   Now, hear me, I need you to remember we are in a Sagittarius Sun sign but each month our precious Mother Moon goes in and out of each constellation for about 2.7 days and spends a hot minute shooting down energies at us at rapid speed.  So when I say the moon went into Capricorn today, it is only for a couple of days, so I want to be sure and honor the meaning of the sign and what it says to me.  Circa what does that mean for today??  Formality, strictness and exactitude.  And today, I was formally introduced with mighty God-Like strictness that says “I” need to stop denying the truth about my path.  I need to allow huge portions of faith in my life to keep flowing in order to watch myself as I grow as a Reiki Master Teacher, Massage Therapist, and now…..dun.dun.dun……..Yoga Teacher..come 2016..!

So, so so… I sit back with my little shot of nightly bourbon (and a bit of an mildly aching back), and contemplate my day.  I relish in the fact that I spent much of my Saturday, practising Reiki and practicing “student” quality massage on my dear friends and family who indeed, were brave enough to hop on my table and let me rub away or open their chakras enough, to transform them into a legalized pot-like coma…….  And, it was just now, that I began to realize even deeper how much I am called to do this and how much I love it!  How fun it is to be with people and their true selves, sharing with them my love for my new career path and potential to really open up, “The Reiki Station” as a Reiki Salon one day.  It was wise to trademark the name and legalize this as a tax paying business.  (In quite the red for 2015 so far may I add)!  More on that  vision later…….

Imagine with me will you?  The warm feeling of the massage table tenderly holding you up.  The relaxing smell of Lavender and Rosemary permitting the air, a teal blue warm eye pillow gently placed on your eyes to block out the light of the day and the magical touch of a practicing therapist begging to rub lotion across your hands and arms, taking you away from the stress of red lights, barking dogs and pinging emails.  Deep meditative music with the likes of Liquid Mind radio playing Moonlight Sonata.   No one around, except you and me.  And the soft tone of my alto voice speaking carefully to remind you how safe and important you are under the eyes of heaven and the angels of God.  And then, pow, some deep tissue release in your Upper Traps and Rhomboids…….Yeah, I love my new path!  The Queen of Fascia!

Friends, Readers, Mom, I love you!  I am diving into things that will indeed make great changes into our world.  I am engaging in deep and challenging conversations with many awesome young men and women who just want peace and happiness, and some tension release in their aching neck!  You see, I know none of us like to publicize our dirty laundry and say, “I am having a bad day”.  Or, that we don’t know what direction life is going to take us in next and we are unsure or, that we are trying to desperately get though a bad addition or bad divorce, or whatever……..

And may I say, I would NEVER, EVER expose someone’s stuff because a.) I am bound by HIPPA and b.)the private conversations we have on the table are priceless and meaningful to me and I shoot prayers up to God on behalf of my fellow humans.   But, really, if you think for two minutes your massage therapist, hairdresser or best friends, are not a part of your mental team and are here to help make your life better, well you be crazy!!

We are all here for you!  Helping to love you and helping you to seek deeper when it comes to finding happiness.   What you have available to you under the Sun and Moon’s guidance is so important…….. And learning all of this knowledge over the last few years has been really hard on me because I don’t have a college degree or a big house anymore and I get weird and feel sometimes like I am a nut job for doing what I do.

Well,  Screw that lie!  I have a warm massage table, a loving husband willing to clean out stopped up toilettes and pick up tons of potentially hepa-tit-tic trash all over the South End of Louisville because he too, believes in me and my handy healing magic and help me get through school and I am happy!!   (And by the way, if you read this blog and happen to throw your sticky Taco Bell cup out the window because no one is looking, well, shame on ya!!!  God sees you!  Stop it!  It’s not nice and it’s gross!  Anyone married to a Garbage man……….shesh, I feel for you girl!)  Pass on this good news!  There is a woman up on top of a big hill, chomping at the bit to get a hold of your gluteus maximum and work with you to find “release!”  Share the blogs!  Share the Facebook posts.  Share the joy of knowing someone LOVES what they do and we haven’t even begun yet!!

People, enjoy your Saturday night!  I am!  The candles outside the Goodyear Mansion are burning.  The man child is out of his room hanging with us old folk chilling about life and I, am living the lap of luxury with some Quinoa and Goya and Celery Stix and a blog post that I love!  One that says, Live The Dream!  (and know when Momma Moon is talking to you because a Capricorn moon can be quite productive!)

Make time for self care today!

Namaste!

Holly G.  (aka………….Dr. Phoenix)

Manifestation of Money! Not a Pity Party!

So much of what I have grown into revolves around the gift of manifestation and conscious awareness. I wake up every single day asking myself “What could I possible manifest today?”  Even on those days when I am subject to an alarm clock or someones time clock, I start thinking right away, about the day ahead.  I look deeply inside of my heart and I “check-in” with where I am right now.  (I use this expert business knowledge of something we administrative minds called presenteeism as a daily tool for my life.)  As a rule every waking morning, I take deep cleansing breaths and exhaling gratitude out of my lungs, albeit the stank  halitosis is quite the reminder that I am fully awake and, alive!  🙂

In order to stay true to the manifestation of all this new “stuff” in my life, I have to admit, I use unconventional tools that others seem to forget exist, in order to help myself , know myself.   Tools like astrology and creative awareness to help me seek out my daily spiritual communication. Especailly with my own Spiritual Nature and that of God.   My body’s ability to cellularly communicate with myself on how I may feel any given morning, is getting easier and I easily tap into where the moon is today or what sign are we in today and what that does for me, as a Spiritual Being.

I then sit a moment and I reflect on how each characteristics of these ancient aspects may, or may not, affect me, Holly Goodyear, as a human being living in our materialistic Society.  (Then, honestly, the rest of my waking time is generally spent having a warm cup of coffee in bed with my beloved as we start off the morning taking in and absorbing our recent dream state and where we were just moments before).

I love how we are able to we kick start our morning conversations about why the world is the way it is and what can the two of us (Soul Partners) do today to make the World absorbingly better.  I know that when I blog hard core messages, sometimes it sounds like a huge dose of EGO for a husband and a wife to publicly “state their intentions” on how they dream of becoming forerunners for change in society. (Why, the audacity!!!)   But why in the world would we not want to be?  You see, a huge part of my last three years, my morning cup of coffee was spent alone, finding my true self, without my beloved beside me.  We had been faced with the same old money trials the last three years as we had when we were sorely in debt.  FEAR OF MONEY!!!  As most couples are, we were (and are) concerned about how we manifest money in our home?

As many of you know, I left my life career as a health insurance broker in 2013 because I was stressed beyond return and I did not know how to channel that stress into a healthy lifestyle.  Instead, watching Obamacare and the cost of our healthcare system scare the freaking shit out of me,  I cracked.  If you have ever sat behind a corporate table and dissected an employer’s financial review on what their little company alone spent on health insurance premiums and copays and deductibles every year, you would be shocked to know how sick we really are as a country.  I mean, maintenance drugs along cost billions of dollars every year.  BILLIONS!!!!  Who the hell wants to maintain diabetes or chronic fibromyalgia, or heart disease much less be told that the top two drugs prescribed in our country are antidepressants and mood inhibitors?   WTF!

So, I bailed out on making $75,000 annually and on the illusion of having the cookie cutter American dream.  Not only, were we not living the happy dream, in our very political careers, we were engulfed in an illusionary lifestyle with a Hollywood screen name that would have went something like……. “The Goodyear Family!! “Trying Keep up with the Jones’. You Foolish Suckers!”.

My beautiful Piscean husband took his entire retirement and cashed it in to start new career in the ever so awesome (not) “Oil Industry” in order to try and save us from bankruptcy.  (And That did not work either!!)  So, we fled the scene and lies of our country behind the most wealthy industries (if you the CEO’s).  I was sick about the state of our country’s health conditions (what a bait and switch that is) and before my brain turned into a hot bed for chemical upheaval and mental imbalance and forgo’d what could have very well become “A STROKE!, I said ENOUGH!!!”  The migraines I had and being so stressed I did not chew my lunch every day not to mention the foods I ate, in order try and get through my day was unbearable.  My health was SHIT!  My over consumption of wine when I would get home at 7:00 every night just be just back on my computer at home to try and survive the overwork was horrid.  I would wake up with night sweats and more anxiety at 3:30 and get back on the emails……….Over and Over again!  I sat back for about three years and watched like a mesmerized ticket-stub holder, how my body was reacting to major adrenal and cortisol poison.  (My own hormones, eating me alive!)   It was like I was stuck in a vortex of New World conditioning, ruled by the almighty dollar and I would never, and I mean NEVER, find a way out.

The truth is, I wanted so badly to do a good job for my clients and co-worker and teach them to be “well” It had an adverse reaction on my own body.  And I hated to watch all of my work friends, (working peers) suffer a mental death of their emotions, all the while, I was doing NOTHING to care for myself as a woman and I had meltdown after meltdown.  (Behind the Oz curtain of course!)  AND……Needless today, all we had done did by putting Ed into the Pipeline industry, was take one horrible work environment and swap it for another.  My Point????????? I think you know…….gas price up.  gas price down………hence, the little man is controlled by forces unseen.

Fast forward to today.  Today, I am obsessively (enter scorpio) educating myself on what it means to hold space for self.  I am learning so much about the Mind, The Body, The Spirit, the Universe, and our Emotion around Money!  I mean, let’s face it………all of that wasted energy from age 26 to 38 had nothing to do with anything but being a slave to money.  Now, can I say this and say it out loud!!!!!! ……… (And all you bitches that used to love me but hate me know for getting out of Obamacare hell, here my and hear me good!…………)  I love you so much!  I love you humans enough to start to expose myself and my shortcomings, and my story, so that maybe, just maybe all you stressed out, mask-wearing women, who work at a corporate desk or are in sales in any capacity, will ask yourself, “Do I have serious hormonal chemicals about to attack my body because I fail to take care of myself FIRST?”  Women.  Dying to themselves and not in a good way.

I bet two out of three of you are chemically a mess inside and out but won’t admit it.  I mean, those healthcare finical reports say you are a mess and you are hiding it behind a pill of some sort.  And Hey Bitches, if you love that rat race and the thrill of the chase that the World provides for you than just do it!  And, If I have finally pissed you off by calling you out as a person who just won’t stop to listen to your what your body needs, then my ministry here is done!  (yes, ministers cuss).

I want you to get pissed off at sickness and disease and being a slave to Money.  What God are you serving?  I am not ashamed to say, well, that my true calling is to expose the “ill of our ways” but I promise you, it is not meant to be mean, or rub it in your face, that I don’t have to live that horrible lifestyle anymore because I still have a bunch of financial obstacles in my way.

Like, for instance, my poor little car (pout pout) is broken down and I have no way to fix it right now.  Matilda is a 2002 Audi and she is high freaking maintenance.  Who’s fault is that?  Mine!!!!  Because I thought I was saving her from that mean old nasty sales guy who lied and said a lot of things about her than was not true.  Like, “She Runs Great!”.  But I got suckered in to buying her by my own desires because I thought ” Well, since I was paying cash” and (with all that dirty pipeline money) and was buying my dream car (as old as it may have been), I CHOOSE to buy a foriegn car with the highest rate of repair on God’s green Earth!!  Lesson Learned???????  I sit without my car.  (Whaaaaah!  Whaaaah!)

So, yeah, let’s be real here…..(as if I would not be)…lol……I am struggling (a little) to pay my way through school but honestly without debt!!!  And I will keep finding respectful ways to help put food on the table while I offer a ton of free massages and energetic healing to the world.  HEY!!  I love it!  I love being a starving artist!  It just means I am doing it right!!!!  I am building a genuine testimony for the future of our planet and this time I can say, I was not a slave to money and I trusted that money would come when there seemed to be no way!!!!  (Just don’t forget like waiters and waitress’ who live on tips, you can tip me! This is so I keep doing this great work because one day I am going to charge your ass full price for my awesome massages but you will certainly notice the great change in your body, mind and spirit as I do because I know the truth behind the WAY!! 🙂

Look silly, I am only messing with you on here in love….. lol………..ONLY and I mean ONLY because I see beyond the veil of what the fear of not having money will do to someone.  This is why I fight even harder to make a difference in this World.   And………………. the whole point of this blog is to tell you that you can learn to manifest shit if you will listen to the Ways God wants you to learn.  Like, my listening to your BODY!  A ton and I mean a ton, of stuff was removed from the 1611 bible about Spiritual Living and I am sorry, but that scripture that scares us into telling the truth about taking away and adding to the bible, in Revelations, was probably written long before 1611 and the global control of the tradition of what Christ was teaching us…………Are we really naive enough to think that all that time before 1611 meant nothing????  If so, carry on the way you are!   You can delete me and my spouse and our ministry now because we are here to share the hidden.  ( And, I still love you!)

I am here now to share with you my new studies…….like for TODAY, that the Moon is Dark and is in Sagittarius.  That means, that you should be focusing on Expansion and Prosperity right now!  Sagittarius is paired up today with the planet Jupiter which is the planet of Luck and Fortune.  And not only are we in a series of luck right now, the fact that today is Thursday, and Thursday is also ruled by the planet Jupiter so manifesting intentions today about your place in the material World is even more powerful today!  (Dark Moon though means let go so LET GO OF FEAR OVER MONEY!!!!  AND SET YOUR EXPANDED MINDS ON A PATH FOR MANIFESTING OUTSIDE OF FEAR AND CONTROL!!!!!!!!)

The energy we have coming at us right now is all due to the shift toward’s the Winter Solstice.  Sagittarius is one of the only signs not ruled by any major planet so it represents Expansion in a big way!  Today is a day to set your sights on BIG THINGS!!  How do you do that?  Easy!!  You will want to honor today with some nutmeg or almond milk and gluten free cookies because the little elves are watching you know, and too much of that other stuff is not good for you.  The elves know if you have been naughty or nice!

Or, you can burn a gold or green candles and light warm fires in your hearth and heart by saying this grateful little poem!  “Fire Makes Magic Me Go.  Inner Peace, Begin to Flow.  Happiness, I will Know, Thank You God, to me you SHOW”  Or better yet, a sign of great faith and hope in God’s magical energy is to just be generous today.  Give something away.  A hug.  A lunch.  A prayer.  A dollar bill to a hungry family.  This happy knowledge is what I call true and compassionate, conscious living.  And I am going to teach it.  Over and over again!

It makes me sad that we don’t play in our true magic selves in the world of business but we will play Santa and Frosty.  I guess that is why I am now building a new business model that will speak truth and require us to show up around our emotion about Money and what the American Dream can look like.  I am voting for a growth in the Healing Arts for all my new peers and I am heading down a path towards living a long healthy life verses facing a tragically sick and unhappy death.

So, in closing, mark my words, NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST US SHALL PROSPER WHEN WE HAVE GREAT AND MIGHTY LOVE KNOWLEDGE.  NOT FEAR OF MONEY, OR LOSING OUR CARS, OR LOSS OF PERSON, OR FEAR FROM WHAT WE SEE ON TV, shall control us!  I know it seems like I am going against all I have been, well, I am.  I was sick and now I am whole.  I was poor but now I am rich.  I was hungry and you fed me.

What do I plan to Manifest?  That our home will prosper in all things when we seek true truth and we both have decided to come to you as one couple and teach the truth even when it hurts.  Ed and I believe that Love knows how to fill in the empty void with more truth if you have to pull out the ugly by the tree roots……..

I pray today that my vigilant writings will no longer allow you to live in fear, or lack ,or control, because I am freely able to speak my heart and mind to you as a Friend of the Universe…….. (and, because I pay $99 per year to have this blog)!!  And, I hope something I said lit the Fire of the  Sagittarius, New Moon, in to get you to take care of the most important person alive today (YOU).  Heck, least find some nutmeg and honor what is available to YOU and challenge yourself to transform what no longer serves you!  We did!

Namaste!

Holly Goodyear

(And don’t forget my friends and family to whom I love dearly, when we talk about tipping, I am trying to teach you the magic behind the exchange of “things”………you can tip me while I am in school (it is legal) so I can keep doing what I am called to do.  You can bring me chicken.  You can bring me toilet paper or dog food otherwise, I will just keep going back to work again and again as a temp if I have to but I would much rather be working on your body!!!  I am going to get through this new place in my life because I am a fighter!!!   People forget how important it is to tip your all your massage therapists and your waitress staff or even your hairdressers!  They are artists of their craft and rely on this things to survive!!  They are your SERVANTS just like your pastors and your preachers who get paid from your tithes…… and because they have served you well with heart felt fiery compassion from their beings, be generous to them!  Nothing makes me more upset that to see someone spend $50 on dinner and tip $2 to the server……..(That is just jerky!)  There is a great universal energy in the exchange of currency otherwise, why would our dollar bill say “IN GOD WE TRUST!?) Help passionate working people change the world in which you live in, and like any great student of the universe making their mark, the return of exchange comes back to you in very magically ways!!!! Who knows, you may even step out from financial bondage too!)  Rant over! 🙂

 

Lower Chakra Awareness and The Gift of Waiting.

It’s 6am.  I hear the train down by the Waverley Hospital blowing it’s horn as I sit on my balcony in the dark, with five lit candles, two sticks of incense and a coal of frankincense and myrrh resins burring, ready to type.  The wind is kicking up, rustling through the drying leaves and there are subtle raindrops starting to form, so I guess rain is coming.  The moment just feels amazing and peaceful as much of the world is still sleeping.

I don’t really care right now about typos or technical writing skills because I am just in the mood to get these feelings out.  Last night, my husband’s truck decided to just quit on his way home from Texas.  One hundred miles from the Tex/Arcana border, Snow just went ka’poot.   I think it is the fuel pump and if that is all it is, then I am praising God for it now and I hope my intuition is right.  Or, even something more simple than that but after years as a car parts carrier in my early twenties, that is what it sounds like happened.  That, is an easy fix and I just know he will be back on the road, and into my arms very soon.

This little challenge has done nothing to set me off into “over-emo” mode.  Quite frankly, it gave me the opportunity to check in with my lower chakras and when Ed texted me to say, “I am broke down waiting on a tow truck”, I just kind of sat there.  I waited for the normal fear and anxiety and anger toward God to set in.  It never did.  I even tapped into my daughter’s loving energy and she immediately came forward to remind me how everything could be worse and to just relax.  (She was doing my hair at the time and giving me a nice hand massage when it happened so I just let it all go while she loved on her momma.  I was so thankful she was there sending me Christ’s Reiki Love and she did not even know it.  (Or did she:)?)

I do carry some disappointment and frustration in my heart charka about yet another blip in our plans but immediately I starting converting these minor feelings into hope and encouragement because I really believe that he will be back on the road in no time.  And, well, he HAS to be because he starts his new job on Tuesday.

I write all of this because it is so easy to have evil, nasty thoughts roll in to say, “why me?”  Well, guess what?  It is me and I am not the person right now facing their father’s death with a brain tumor.  I am not the person right now facing the loss of their mother or their granddaughter’s recovery from major spine surgery.  I am not the person standing on the side of the road holding the homeless sign and I am not the person dealing with cancer today.  I am Holly Goodyear.  I am Me.

Encouragement and Hope in any given situation can seem so far off the radar when you are right in the middle of the fight for your “life’s” desires.  And, last night when I shot out a plea for prayers on Facebook, so many stepped up to encourage us.  I really felt them caring about us and about what Edward and I have to do on they Earth, together.  People, let me tell you, we may look like a perfect couple but we are so far from it.  HE and I struggle with things that I am not sure others do.  (Although, I know I am wrong for saying it because you never know what people talk about behind closed doors.)  Behind our closed doors we have some serious fights and some incredible make-up’s!”  We wonder about our human design daily and Ed and I talk about our fears and dreams over and over and over again, ad nauseam, every day.  We deeply communicate about everything!!   I can only image what people may think about us and all of our MASSIVE changes over the last three or four years.  I know it should not bother me but dang it, every time we try to do something new, we are halted until further notice.  I guess it is because at one time we were this this nice little “obedient Christian couple” doing what everyone else was doing but when we decided leave the walls of the church, and decided to ordain ourselves as ministers, we had to learn to fight through the false lies of all these worldly economic barriers in order to determine what is really important.  Once, felt the dragon’s breath of being shunned and were told when things like this go wrong, it is because of something we had done.  How said is it to believe that.  That is not Karma folks, that is a human lie.

You see, Ed and I have tested a few different paths with honorable hearts in order to rebuild from very a unhappy cookie cutter lifestyle.  When we married we were just like so many others who just wanted a house, two cars, money in the bank and prestigious jobs.  A Firefighter and a Health Insurance Account Executive.   How sweet.  We held leadership positions at our local church and went in and out of the sanctuary doors like robots until we were slain in the Holy Spirit enough to notice, our robotic patterns was not creating true happiness.  And may I say, we had enough private conversations with enough other believers to know, they too, were just going through the motions, missing a key components in ministry and were way unhappy.  We were just like all of “The People”.

So, as the story goes, we jumped ship and left our six figure jobs (combined) and tried a new path.  It immediately crashed.  Like a hot rich jockey betting on the New York Stock Exchange in 1929, our rug was yanked out from under us and those innocent hopeful future opportunities, came crashing down all around us.  We lost a lot of material things and had to file bankruptcy.  And just like that.  After all of the that socio-economical status we had obtained through the accolades of others, we became a dredge of society.  Corporate institutions and their employees treated us like shit.  Many Work Life Friends and church family members cut us off for not being a part of their circle anymore and disassociated with us like we had Bubonic Plague.  I have stacks and stacks of journal entries on how disgustingly terrible we were treated because we were now considered one of “those” people.  Some people thought we went into the dark art of witchcraft and some people hated on us because we should have held on to our “unacceptable situation” and just accepted things the way there were and dealt with the shit we were putting up with quietly.  And some people judged us very harshly because how in the world could we be considered a minister say the word shit?  Or drink Bourbon?  Or talk to Spirits.  Or do Reiki? (Like everyone is so high and mighty and perfect, not!)

Listen, I know I am not perfect.  In fact, I have tried many times to reconnect with relationships and apologize for anything I have done to hurt others but I must say, I have no patience for hurtful and judgmental people.  I love them.  But I now realize that disassociation just means room for others and I see who they are with such gratefulness.

As a Proud and Pure Scorpio sitting here writing, I have a terrible time of letting go of those I care for deeply.  TERRIBLE!  But if they do not wish to be a part of our journey, that is fine just know, I still mourn for some of my past relationships.  I AM GRATEFUL for those who are in my life now though.  Seriously!!!  And all those loving hearts holding space, love and light for my stranded husband, I accept your prayers.  God has completely surrounded us with a new community of souls that really see the greatest potential in this crazy Intuitive Couple.  Bring Ed Home!!!!

I hope as I continue to grow, someday the story of how we got to where we are today, will completely heal with grace and ease.  I think just last night having yet another unforeseen roadblock in our journey to bring Edward back home, was and is, a blessing.  My lower chakras did not get wonky and I am no longer a servant to my flesh. (Just for Today).  I am a teacher of New Wisdom and sometimes being a teacher, you just have to remind everyone of what asking for Patience and Wholeness means.  It comes at a very costly price.  You will die to the flesh in ways that no longer serve you and  born of the Spirit.  It requires you face an enormous amount of resistance.  But it does not require us to stop living or act as if we are perfect.  The gift of waiting just shows us we are not perfect but thank God, we are learning great awareness of who are are.  Inside and out!  Not serving anything but Truth.

Namaste!

“For Lolly and Her Amazing Gift of Silence.”

My Dearest Kim,

I sit outside my little balcony, which has become my sanctuary as small and insignificant it may be.  The significance to me, is all that matters.  And today, you are my first priority.  You and your family.  Kenny, the girls, Terry Lee and I am praying that your strength and endurance is manifest today.  I cannot say I know what it is like to lose my mom, or a parent for that matter, because I do not know “how it feels.”  But losing Lolly is but an illusion.  Lolly, is not really lost.  She has transformed and transcended into Paradise, or Heaven as us Jesus Lovers call it.  And as I take the time to light ALL of my candles, and burn multiple sticks of incense it gives me a time to send you love and light and hearth because I know you are sleeping.  (Oh, night owl you are:)  and I am watching the day break and yearning to sit with you and just be there for you all.  Not necessary doing anything although I will, because doing is being and being is doing.  But in my silence, (except for Mr. Squirrel running up and down my treetops and this crazy duck that won’t quit quacking…..), I am proud to have been partially raised by such a unique mother as yours.  Lolly, (of course I called her Laurie, and could not pronounce the proper vernacular of Laurie and always said  LORI :P), never, not once, judged me for anything.  Like the time you went to prom and I had drank a pint, or two of Mad-Dog 20/20 and you and Darla dropped me back off to your house because I could not hang with the big dogs.  Your mom came into the bathroom while I puked out my guts, held a cold rag to my forehead and brought me water and Tylenol.    Did she fuss at me?  No.  Did she enable me to think that what I had done was ok?  No.  She was just there.  Her prescense and silence was all that was needed to comfort me when I had done such a stupid thing.  That is who your mom was.  She never did judge our teen age decisions with harsh hatred or punishment, but she just was there, knowing that our human consciousness would eventually kick in and we would become responsible, at some point.  (Or so she hoped).  It was as if she knew, striving with strong willed girls was a loss of her own personal power so she just sent light and love to any situation and did not try and force us into personal responsibility.  (Although, the look and the silence was enough to pour on the guilt of being such as silly child.)   I honor the great and mighty silence that your mom presented to me.  She was a pillar of love and hope even when we did not know how to become mature.  I regret not knowing her more as an adult but I live my life with gratitude that during the hardest years of my life (adolescence) she gave me a safe place to stay and provided me with amazing chuckles and fluffy kittens to help me through hormones and self-sabotage.  And now, that Laurie, (say Laaaaawwww-rrrrie)…….has been reunited with our Lord Jesus, I am all but sure, her great and mighty silence will be presented from “the other side” with a thousand times the intensity as before.  She will not leave you nor forsake you and is amongst the greatest cloud of witnesses cheering you and your family on to be happy.  Teaching you to become more still and more secure in just being “Who you ALL are.”  That is what brings euphoric happiness!

My best friend, I know you have had many struggles of which you have overcome, but I also know you are the first one to say you are “ok” when you are not ok and you need someone to hold you, or help you, or just be with you, without judgement.  I hope today as I am with you, your husband and your children (and then some) you all know I do not have to say a lot.  The silence of just being there in this time of grief and feeling is enough to say everything.  I have not been the “best” I could be as a friend all of the time, but you know I try really hard and I love you unconditionally as my sister.  You are my six-six.  (ask me later).  I am here, in this moment, praying for you all and loving you and holding you and Kenny, and Callie, and Aimee and Alissa and Emily and Amanda and Terry Lee and so on………in true harmony.  I sing a song of rejoicing to the birds and squirrels here atop the Waverly pass and I hope all the heavy incense and sound is traveling down the hills over to your bedroom and filling your heart chakra with a lot of green love.  Forgive your self for everything you think you “did not do” because there is nothing you did not do that you did not do.  You did everything your momma hoped you would do and then some.  And now, spend the rest of your days, doing everything you want and need to do, for yourself FIRST.  The rest will follow.  I love you deeply and authentically in the only way I know how.  By just being me.  See you soon.

Holly

“Preconceived Notions of the First Day of School.”

So, what were my preconceived notations of the first day of Massage Therapy School?  That I was going to be one of the oldest people in the class.  Not even close!  Most of my student peers are my age and even older.  I was SHOCKED at how many adult students were in my class.   Per Charlie, the instructor ,the class one of the bigger classes at AMT.  Which brings me too……..Charlie.  He is hands down the BEST teacher I have ever met!!  Just the first day, for the first few hours in a brand new class of people, Charlie allowed us to get right to it!  We sat in a row, one body in front sitting in a chair and one therapist behind you.   Right away, we were all “zen-a-fied”.  (I was called out, (not by name) as having cold hands.  I hope that means my heart is warm.  Ed says it is because I have tense shoulders.  But, I think it is just me.  I do hold heat close to my core and should add more cardio to my life.  And I will, because I am going to the gym to run after this blog.  It has been way too long and I am sure I will huff and puff like the Big, Bad, Wolf).

end rant….

Well, honestly something triggered a jolt in my Solar Plexus. It was the early History on how massage became in America.  I am going to keep it a mystery to my readers for now because if you really wanted to know our American History on it, you could do research on it but I am unsure of you would get where I am going with it.  However, I don’t have time to elaborate right now so I will save the story for another blog………..The story Charlie’s told quickly made me realized that a shift is about to happen in our healthcare system.  The demand for human touch is going to become quite the million dollar industry.  Oh, WAIT, it already is!!!  If you haven’t noticed, our clinicians and medical staff are killing themselves to try and save the sick and in today’s case, it is not just sick, it is mentally ill people and drug addicts.   Lots of Drug addicts especially here in South Louisville.  All of which causes mental illness.

So, as I begin this journey to become the BEST Massage Therapist I can, I want to concentrate on a few things as I go along.  First, myself and my mind.  I am very susceptible to mild mental illness, however, may I say, I am confidently doing my own soul work and the voices in my head that make me crazy, have learned to take a back seat and only be acknowledged during “story time.”  What is “Story time” you ask?  It’s mentally talking to yourself.  And we ALL, A-L-L do it!  There is not one person on the planet who does not do it and if there was, it would be because of a medical issue I am sure.  In America we are too quick to point out what we all call mental illness or crazy as a bad thing verses what is really happening is people are not taking responsibility for their life choices.  We all have a personal responsibly to know how to interact with one another non-judgementally even in our energy centers.

Mental Illness has become a very characterized buss word.  We scrutinize it in cases when the patient flips out and throws their tray of processed provision  far across the room in a torrential rage.  We analyze it when the hormonal teenager who never exercises and we call it depression or selfishness in many cases.   And we ignore it in people who act like everything is ok but really, it is not.   But I am being very authentic when I say, life gets to me at times and I just want to quit but not this time.  Oh no!!!  I am hungry for change in America.  And I will become a successful and prosperous Reiki Massage Therapist in Louisville quite possibly with a franchise or something someday.  ( I add the Reiki profession certificate first because that is where the real groovy human energy exchange is and it is great!)

So, my point, when I entered the class and realized I was not alone in restarting my career as a professional, and I took a great long sigh and I said “Thank You” to God and my husband for allowing me to change my path once again.  People such as myself who are passionately intense about what they do and about who they are, typically have a few false starts which can make you “crazy” but after looking full circle around at why I had to go through the things I have gone through.  And all my classic mental meltdowns all honestly stemmed from the same thing.  Low serotonin in the brain.   Massage WILL increase these levels drastically.  And when that happens, Mental Illness rarely exists in healthy people.  That is what they are healthy!  The general population who say they cannot afford a massage or will not take the time to trust someone else to care for their body, are really missing a key element to simple healing.  The human touch responders send massive amounts of information through out subtle energy system.  It is now my job, as I expand my knowledge of the Body, Mind and Spirit to build a professional and honorable practice with true authenticity no matter what my age.  At 42 (almost 43 if you want to send me presents), 🙂 I will no longer let any preconceived notions about my age stop my actions for doing.  Had I chickened out at the last minuted because I thought I was too old, I would have missed out on a fabulous day of priceless education for many.  However, if you really look at it, I look mighty good for 42 and at this point in life, by 50, I’ll be feeling pretty darn good!  Will you join me?  Yes? Then Get a Massage!!!!!!!!

In Christ’s Love,

Holly

“Quick and Dirty Whining!”

I am tired.  Whooped.  Pooped.  Exhausted.  I am hot, cranky and feel like my emotions are out of control.  So, I am blogging about it so I can just say I did.  No judgements right?

Today was not at all a Debby Downer Day by any means, just tiring.  Maybe it is just the lingering summer heat.  The dog “days” as Flo’ would say.  I am craving a cold beer but I think I will pass.  As a matter of fact I think my time of consumption is going to be quite limited once I enter back into the classroom next week.   And, as a matter of another fact, that actually is one of the things that is bothering me.  The classroom.  I am SCARED to start this new career path just as much as I am excited to see it come to pass.  But monkey mind keeps butting in telling me I am too old, or too slow (coming in at close to age 43) to be keeping up with these young student peers who will be just entering adult hood.  And when this chimp in the brain sets off a trail of chatter in my head, I have to stop it and remind the real me that I am not too old to become a Massage Therapist because much of my work is done already done energetically and intuitively.  The Deep Tissue and Cranial Body work is the just for the benefit of knowing how the body works and where to touch so I can help make holistic correction in other people’s vehicles.  (Their Body of course).

By rights of my calling, I can lay hands on people and hope and pray for solid alignment as it is available to us.  I will commit to work on humans and send positive energy into their energy field and imagine them whole. But dog-gone-it why am I so anxious about this week?  I feel like it is because I never fully trust in myself to do something all the way.  I have had so many false starts in the last few years I am a little bit shell shocked when it comes to starting something new.  But I have to believe that cultivating wisdom comes when you just don’t easily give up even when you have a moment when you really want to.  Today, I really wanted to back out.  However, I made a wise decision to ask myself if these thoughts are coming at me in a uncontrolled motion of panic or is there a valid reason to change all that I have worked at this point?  And you know what?  I recognized the emotion of panic right away and told it to settle down!  And, it did, slowly.  So as tired and cranky as I am tonight I can still say, “Game on!”

Holly

“Let’s Hang Around People We DON’T Know for Once!”

Hi!  I am so excited about my up and coming day!  I will be attending WorldFest and honestly it is not something I normally do.  I very rarely get to go to large local gatherings and today I had to ask myself why I don’t.

Maybe it is because I am so busy just doing stuff that I am missing the altruistic point about fellowship! As a new business entrepreneur and 40 something year old woman, I find that daily I trap myself in a bubble by going off to bed each day wondering if I am doing enough to sustain my new lifestyle.  I don’t go to a regular church anymore but I am surrounded by personal sisterhood and friends totally see me for who I am.  Day by day I am learning to drop all the masks I have worn around family and friends and I am learning that love myself while being loved by others and THAT is really is what makes the world go around.  And,  hi-ho don’t I know, that not everyone in the world WILL love me like I am or want to be around me all the time but by personally taking the time to go to a festival like Worldfest 2015 allows me to get to know the energy of new people who are very different than I am.  How cool is that?

I think over the least few months of change, I have still limited my thinking.  My personable challenges have resurfaced in my mind over and over again ever since I left my 13 year career as a health and life agent and I have spent way too many hours trying to PROVE to myself (and others) that I am worthy to follow my dreams just as others decide to do.  What I have found helpful toward removing conditioning in my life is my desire to have a deep relationship with myself.  And now that I am learning to do that, I am stoked to be able to spend the day among hundreds of different cultures and traditions.  It will be an out of the box experience for me and I have a sneaking suspicion that my circles will just keep growing larger.

Is this what I want?  Well, it is what I had intended so let’s do it.   And this my readers, is just so freaking cool!  I hope this moment of word inspires you too seek out others who are not like you and learn something new.  It will do you some good!  Hope to see you there!

Holly

Strong and Secure

“Contemplation of a Hard Thing! Another Facebook Hiatus…….Uh Oh!”

Yes.  Here I am.  Atop my computer setting personal public goals again.  What do I mean by that?  Well, it is time for another Facebook fast.  And my initial thought is to make it a long one?  Why, well, because when you are off the grid taking classes to study about the human dynamics and the human body, staying connected to Facebook each day sucks the element of surprise out of the day’s intuition and takes up all my time.  Social Media marketing has a GREAT place in our life there is no doubt in that but I am ready to get out this fall and shake hands with Real, unsuspecting people. 🙂  I hope no one get’s mad at me about this.

In order to grow my company The Reiki Station, I have to tune into the channels of my heart that teach me how to handle the next few years which will, indeed, be challenging.   It is true that all the years past hubs and I have had our share of challenges but when all these new challenges arise, we both tend to forget how painful the previous years challenges were and we must decide if we want to relive it over and over again?

Me, nope.  I am not.  I am moving on.  God has given me a tremendous opportunity to become my authentic self lately and the next steps in doing so will require that I find time to BE WITH PEOPLE.  I love Facebook.  As a matter of fact I have become so addicted to it that I cannot get anything done.  I have reserved my trust in my path to say if I can do one year, or even one week, for that matter without Facebook, I just may build something here on the Earthen plane.

I am going to have Facebook withdrawals.  I will be posting reminders so that loving friends and family know, I am still here, just on the Earth doing stuff other than Facebook.  But how will people find me to ask for services?  My business cards are about and the energy work I am doing cannot be hidden.  I will not shine my light under a bushel.  But I am truly scared that if I don’t concentrate on my studies and obtain my LMT (Good willing and the poop don’t rise) then I will not do as well.  My hope is by mid-way through 2016, I may just have a business plan in working order and investors on board for a new philosophy of energy work.  We will call it, The Mindfulness Arts.

And beside’s, who wouldn’t want to be out hopping around in person this upcoming holiday season anyway?  The wind will begin to chill and the sun will come up in a different place each day, taking us humans down the path of time and space.  Our days will be shorter, we will be concentrating on either closing our 2015 books out with positive numbers or busy figuring out how to build your festive social parties over the course of the next 8 weeks.  Why do I say all that?  Because we are Supermen, that’s why.  And I need to share with people who I am and what I do.  Like walk up to a stranger and ask if they have heard of Reiki Massage?  I can tell you most folk in the S.E. will say no!

So if indeed I delete my Facebook account (because I am so addicted I may not be able to handle not knowing what is happening) that I hope you either know how to call, text or email me or at least reach a close family member or friend of mine.  You see.  I am going to make a damn good masseuse!  If I get my hands on you why………………….those aches and pains and emotional blockages may just flee your body.  Isn’t that what Jesus did?  WWJD?

So, if you are reading this post and are concerned I will go dark for about a year, then share that with me before I do go i can frequent contact with you.  Don’t go a’ thinking some crisis has taken place because Holly Goodyear left Facebook.  However, if you are reading this and want to sign up for email notifications when I blog then follow me on my hollygoodyear.com WordPress Account.  I will still be blogging.  For sure….ALOT~  However, tomorrow all this could change and I could change my mind.  But if I don’t, I am thinking Sept 15th will be my sign off date as School for me will have begun.  And I am paying for that tuition so I don’t have time to post meme’s on Facebook.  (As much as I love too!)

  We can call it “The day the Holly went Dark”!  LOL!  Now that is funny!  Namaste!

Flying

“Some Accolades and Some Prayers.”

At this very moment I am blessed with about 30 minutes of morning free time.  So, let me paint you a picture of my moment so you can be sure that those of you I am thinking of, know, I love you and hold sacred space for you even in my blogging.  It just blows my mind how I am coming up on my 200th blog soon and really, my writing career is not much farther than it was.  In fact, I have reserved my published authorship in book form, to one day in the future.  This is where I am staking claim that One Day will Come and that I can honestly look back over 2 or 5 or even 10 years and see that Holly Goodyear progressed for the better.  This place of personal e-space, has helped me even when I wasn’t so pleasant in my tone.

But right now, in this very moment, I sit on my apartment balcony and I watch the birds come to the feeder.  I light several white candles and I light a King Coal Charcoal to sprinkle some incense to help send up my prayers.  It is weird to think I am truly multi-tasking by typing on the computer and praying at the same time.  I mean, I already did all of the laundry, vacuumed, cleaned the bathroom, took out the trans, took out the dogs (twice) and did the dishes.  Oh, and chatted on the phone with my laboring husband twice.  It is only 9:00a.m.

However, it is now time for me to write out some special words about some special people.  Now, in times of frustration or idiocracy on my part, (or another’s), I typically would keep my anger and frustration over deeds to myself.  It is my heart to be an online positive thinker not a negative one.  I say that because I think if you are working out an issue with a person that is “personal” then for the MOSt part, don’t share it in detail.  And that is especially true when they are family.  Our eagerness to been seen and heard (as a women more so) gets a little wonky when we are passionate and full of empowerment.  But in the times we are hurting blogging should be left to assumptions and parables in order to protect the innocent. (or Guilty if found charged).  Our time online would be much better spent, praising one another and showing the technology Gods how great a Human we are becoming……..Which Brings Me Too…………..Accolades.

I have a LIST of people in my life right now that I want to say “Hello , I Love You, Should I Die, Please Know It” too.

Like Saundra.  At the age of 5 I walked into a very scary school, with a scary teacher and a missing tooth.  On Kindergaten picture day, my hair was chopped like Paul McCartney loaned me his cereal bowl. Not sure what that was about.  But, on a blessed note, I was introduced to my new little friend of which we would not meet up again until Middle School.  Somehow, I ended up living a few doors down from her at at 11 and we reconnected.  Now, how did we do that?  God Maybe.  After a crazy roll through high school we lost touch for many years except through an occasional rumor from a sister or old acquaintance.  Fast Forward another 010 years and after kids and marriages, we again, reconnected.  Not sure how except it had a lot to do with Jesus and Prayer.  For a bit, we three friends, Saundra, Teresa and I, help bible study in our homes to teach one another how to be better wives, mothers and women.  Hop two years and dammit we lost touch again.  Until recently, I was BLESSED to be a part of her wedding.  This year, I stood beside her while she married her Twin Flame.  What does all this say?  That I love her.  For being in my life faithfully as a few others of which I call my best and dearest few.  Although I am highly favored and blessed by God that He is adding to my true friend treasure box like crazy!  You could not ask for a better support system than I have right now.  And 98% of them are REAL Women!  REAL WONDER WOMEN.  I love you SLSM and I love all my Sisters!

Next, I was to speak about Betsy.  Betsy is one of those I just previously mentioned.  She is a new Sister and I am seeing a HUGE gift of Radiance because of Betsy.  Betsy is young and starting her own natural cosmetics.  Right out of her own kitchen.  I have had the privilege of even buying some.  There were for my son Zach at first.  I was purchasing them for his acne since he has such as handsome face and all, 🙂 but the smell of the “secret ingredient” sent him running!  (Betsy, you know what I mean!!)  So, having the mature age issue that I do an all, I decided to be an Indian giver and take back his purchase.  Only to find that her products have done amazing things for my skin.  I have been blessed to find someone so awesome in my life and to be so encouraging to know that she is building on a dream while Betsy is living her life, that the magic that she put in her products, made me look better.  I think that is how it works!  It is when be believe in ourselves and others, that love is sent forward and we glow with radiance even down to the skin.  Thank you Betsy for the  great products!  Keep up the experimenting!

Third, I want to give a quiet but not so much shout out to MY AROMATHERAPIST!  So, this person in my life will remain a secret here on the blog.  She knows who she is!  (if she even reads it! LOL!) 🙂  A few months back, another AWESOMELY NEWER friend introduced me to the Human Goddess of Oils.  Just saying.  It is not just what she sells, that makes her so “eff’ing awesome it is who she is.  Or better yet, what she is.  SIMPLY AMAZING.  If anyone one has met this women, you know what I am saying!  I must have been chosen by the leprechauns of smell to have her in my life.  Maybe she is from Jupiter.  (Planet of Luck)…..LOL!  Now why do I say that….because I feel like the luckiest customer in the world to have such a knowledgeable person about the lore of plants in my life.  We all are acting like we do not notice that our world is riddled with false products and medications that only make the rich get more rich and the poor very ill.  (If I end up missing, it was probably an insurance company that kid-napped me)………..Really Folks, have you not seen me posting about how these oils are changing my life!!  And there are a handful of you that when I see you face to face, with my glass bottle of love up your nose, you know what I am talking about.  Using an essential plant oil that calls to your vibration while you stress outward through your day, is NECESSARY for some wellbeing.  And if anything, your mind is remembering the subtle smell of lavender or peppermint on your chest while you answer email number 286 before lunchtime.  (YOU KNOW I AM RIGHT!!!)  So, all I can say is this.  HAD I NOT HAD A REAL LIVE AROMATHERAPIST IN MY LIFE THIS LAST YEAR MY TRIALS WOULD HAVE CONSUMED ME!!!!!!!!)  Thank you FLOWER MOMMA CM.  You are a blessing to me and always will be………No question there!

And lastly, let me just say, I know that I have taken a lot of your precious time today.  If you read this blog, I hope you heard me. I lOVE  YOU!  IN THE NAME OF JESUS!  Thank you.  For putting up with me.  But this last daily shout out now needs to go to my husband Edward.  Many of you know our situation and it gets HARD sometimes.  You never really understand a marriage unless you are in it.  We can look at other marriages, divorcee’s, parents, children and figure, oh they have a neat family and NOT have a clue what is going on behind closed doors.  My heart HURTS when I see a struggling marriage.  But I cannot save them.  Only the two involved can.  I do hold space for you!  But I would be NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING (like Whitney Houston and KeVin Costner NOTHING, without Edward.  We laugh on how he is my King and I am his Queen.  Although, I make him say “Princessa” when he calls me Queen.  I have my reasons!!  LOL!  Everyone needs to know that our marriage is not perfect and we fight….hell….yes…..we fight, but then we get to make up!  No secret about those super powers…….I love him!  He is in me.  He IS MY TWIN FLAME.  So, if you have a twin flame, do not take them for granted.  They will do hard things for you and you should for them.  You do not have to lose your individuality when you are not together because a true twin flame partner is with you at all times.  Send them love.  Beam it right out of your Heart Chakra.  As I am doing for Edward now!!!!

I have taken up too much of your time and I need to throw some clothes in the dryer now so I am NOT editing……you will see typos!  Have an awesome day peeps!  Know You are Prayed for Daily and I love you!  In Jesus Name and in the name of All That is Good!

Holly