Well, yes, I should start out by saying Happy Memorial Day. So, I will. I hope it is what you make of it today. The rain is a pleasant surprise to me but for those wanting to BBQ outside, it may not be as welcoming. I have to start out my day by saying, last night, I was a bit perturbed. You know, the kind of perturbed where you really don’t care at that moment what effect your actions have because you know deep down inside, you are right. Being “Right” is not something I try to be ALL the time because I value, very deeply, other’s feelings, emotions and opinions. But last night, when I saw a mother’s Facebook post on how her Son was denied “a bowl” by a local restaurant, it really ticked me off to no end. You can read the whole issue if you want to go to my post feed but the moral of the story is that a mom asked every so politely for a bowl at a local for chain so her special needs son could eat his taco meat. The employee, at best, argued with her and her husband and refused them the bowl.
Yes, they left but not after pleading with this guy to just work with them since they had gotten a bowl before. He continued to refuse and just so they did not have to experience the embarrassment and awkwardness of leaving and going somewhere else. Granted, as we speak this local chain is doing their best to remedy this “insanity” called rule following, so that they can make the poor decision of their employee, right, but for me, it just triggered several things about the World in general and I am trying to use Grace, in my aftermath of emailing them and publicly posting my distaste for this ridiculous situation.
Now, for the part of Grace. Let’s say this employee, (who I know nothing about) is also a rule follower. And maybe, just maybe he was really afraid for his job if he “broke” the rules and gave this mom a bowl for her son to eat out of. Did he worry that in doing so, he would lose his job? In fact, he was so against giving them the bowl, he wanted to know the name of the employee, which DID give them a bowl last time they were there. The flavor of the story tells me, he did not worry so much about his own job but was insistent on getting someone else in trouble so he could say, he followed the rules. Was he a manager? Was he completive or was he just looking out for the employee before him that used some grace and wisdom when it came to protocol?
This whole situation irritated me for several reasons but mostly because I spend my days and nights, really evaluating my emotional health so that I do NOT offend, hurt, or live my life in irrational terms. My immediate family was upset about this as well, but it was after I reposted this “craziness” and it in turn, ticked off my husband and he posted about it. I have family who raise special needs children and it is not easy but it is a beautiful thing. I do not expect everyone on the planet to do things perfect and without flaw. I know we are all not perfect. But what I do expect is that we are all born with some level of compassion and when you “choose” not to be compassionate towards others when it is fitting, I think something else is going on. Some people may even read this and say I need to stay out of it since it is not my concern, but as a humanitarian, it is my concern. In fact, it is my biggest concern. Society is really a mess sometimes and I am here to help clean it up God willing me…..
I understand Rules are not meant to be broken, but rules are also not meant to lock us in under controlled circumstances to navigate us away from humanity. There are no steadfast rules in living except that you harm none. If I would have been the mom at the restaurant pleading for grace and understanding just in asking for a .15 cent plastic bowl so that her son could eat with dignity and grace, I am not sure if I would have been so understanding. There is a trigger point in a mother that can be set off in an instant and Christian or not, if that employee was being a “fart” then I would have possibly made a big scene. Rare to my loving personality, but I may have just been the avenger. Now, it would have certainly been prudent to say, I would have looked at his energy to see if he was really scared to give me the bowl and maybe, I would have asked for a manager for help and reason but here is what upsets me MORE than just him not giving her the bowl. WE ARE FLOODED WITH SITUATIONS THAT LACK SIMPLE GRACE!!! When I step away from my circle and surround myself with people who lack dignity and grace it does two things to me:
1. It makes me very sad to wonder why they do not see the power of grace in life and it makes me wonder if they have even know what Grace is? Maybe it is not their fault and I know there are people out there that don’t know how to practice grace, because they have never been given any. I mean, if that employee had a manager overpowering him to say, if you give away that bowl, you are fired! If he had two kids to feed at home and desperately needed his job, then give him some grace.
2. Or, are people just that mean? If the employee was just a punk kid with no responsibility and hated life on life’s terms, then he could give a crap about grace. These are the people I have NO tolerance for. And outside of Harming None, I am perfectly fine with blogging my two cents about how pissed off I get when people hurt others with no shame.
We all make mistakes and it is the wise person who will “ask” the questions to make life better. It is the Wise Person who will say something about an injustice and even when all the facts are not present, make a case for both sides to try and find a solution. It is the wise person, who will say, Yes, I shared that post last night but in all fairness, so did the mom and I do not blame her. She, needed loved on for sure! She needed to know that the world in general does NOT accept this kind of behavior and we mom’s feel her and hold space for her even if we have to give out a virtual spanking sometimes! If I am wrong in doing so, it will come back to me three times I am sure. But I am to the point in my walk on this planet, that I spend day and night thinking of ways to make the world a better place with MY ENERGY but when people mess with other people on purpose, my niceness turns into vengeance and I am perfectly happy to say a warrior Spirit rises up in me and I have no shame to call it out. Yin and Yang. Good and Bad. Right OR Wrong.
So, if you read my blog today and see that I need to chill about this issue and let it go since it is not by monkey or my circus, then I accept that. But if that were your baby needing a .15 bowl to eat out of and that employee was being a punk, you know you would have let him have it. If he was NOT being a punk and was too timid to “break the rules” when it would have been perfectly acceptable to do so, then I feel that whomever he has been controlled by in the past, needs a virtual spanking too.
Treat Others as You WOULD be Treated. And somebody help me fight the fight of injustice in our world!! Our youth are getting a very mixed message about the positive POWER OF GRACE verses the negative energy surrounding POWER OF RULES and are not able to find Wisdom in very simple situations and we parents need to speak up!